Parenting Roles

What to Consider When Weighing Working at Home

Being able to work from home is a plus for many parents. They don’t have to commute anywhere, don’t have to spend money on gas, and are able to stay at home with the kids. It’s a win-win situation all around. But is it?

Certainly everyone benefits. There’s no need to send a younger child to day care, meaning the parent can raise their kid on their own. But when some thought is put into it, it’s only for the first few years of life that the child is going to be at home for any meaningful time. Once they go into school full time, the reasons for staying home are a little less urgent. To be sure, not having to go into work is a luxury, but sometimes it’s good for everyone to get some space from each other.

It’s normal for a parent to want to be home as the children come home from school. There is, however, a time when the kids start wanting their own privacy and won’t be as interactive as they once were. It’s an unfortunate fact of growing up. That’s not to say that the parent can’t sit down and have face to face time with their kids. It’s just that when children age, they start developing a sense of self and want their own space. So sometimes not being at home when they get back from school can do everyone a little bit of good.

Ultimately this is a subject that’s has to be determined by the individual situation. Weigh the pros and cons on how the family will be affected. Is your home going to turn into a hang out spot because you’re the only adult around? Are you doing this for yourself, or for the greater good of the family? Only you can decide if working at home is right for your family.

Filed Under: Parenting Roles Tagged With: Child, Day care, Parent, Telecommuting

The Television is not a Babysitter

Parents often use a television program to babysit their young children. There’s nothing easier than plopping the tot into a playpen with their toys and putting on the latest kid’s program. But is it really such a good idea?

Not really. Research is showing that the more time a child spends in front of a television in their first 28 months will translate to learning issues a couple of years later. They will tend to not test as well as their classmates. Eventually they will catch up, but they start out behind the eight ball.

While this is should be a major concern for parents, there are other issues that should be considered as well. The child gets used to being sedentary and having their mind exercised by the television. In turn, they don’t move around as much as they should, starting them on the road to potential obesity.

Nor is the necessary stimulus provided by playing with toys and interacting with others. Social skills begin when speech starts developing. Just staring at something that talks to them does not encourage the children to develop their vocabulary or understand how to play well with others. There is also less discussion with the parents which may undermine respect as the child ages.

This is not to say don’t sit a child down in front of the TV. There are times that the parent needs to get something important done and the child is being insistent on getting attention. Instead, make sure that the time spent watching a program is for short periods of time. Once the job is finished, take a few minutes for oneself, but don’t let the child spend much more than a couple of hours by themselves. As with everything else in life, moderation is the key to success.

Filed Under: Parenting Roles Tagged With: Babysitting, Child, Parent, Television

Ruling the Roost: Parents Need to Say No

Children try to whine, plead, and wheedle their way into getting what they want. And it’s up to the parents to make the judgment on when to say no and when to say yes. Modern society feels that parents give in way too often to their children with the result that the kids walk all over their parents. Stop this by learning to say no.

It’s easy to give in as it stops the annoying behavior instantly, causing peace to be returned to the household. But too many parents ignore the reality that raising kids can be an unpleasant task at times. So instead of holding their ground, they give into the demands, which in turn teaches the child that acting poorly is a way to get rewarded.

This translates into a child that becomes unpleasant to be around. The parents may not notice because they get what they want, which is quiet and harmony. Others who interact with the kids aren’t as inured to the behavior and will quickly tire of the spoiled brat. This is a set up for trouble as others will not be as yielding of the child’s demands. Fights will break out between playmates, possibly causing them to not want to come back.

Parents need to hold the line when it comes to saying no. Discipline is an important part of growing up. It needs to be instilled from an early age that the parent is the source of no, and they cannot be gotten past. Don’t be the parent that becomes known as the one who spoils their children rotten, and not in a good way.

Resist the urge to constantly give in to a child’s demands. Don’t let their whining get under the skin. They’ll learn quickly that negative behavior will not be rewarded with what they want.

Filed Under: Parenting Roles Tagged With: Behavior, Child, Family, Parent

Teaching Proper Manners to your Children

Kids don’t come born with manners. It’s up to the adult in their life to teach and reinforce them. Instilling proper manners in a child takes being insistent and consistent, as well as leading by example. Before long, your child will be saying “please” and “thank you” without being prompted to.

The first step is teaching respect. Respect is a large part of what makes up manners, and teaching how to be considerate to others forms their foundation. Use old school rules to provide a baseline and moderate them by explaining that not every place is formal, but it never hurts to start out being proper. Some may argue that we live in a day and age where people don’t need to observe certain traditions. But why not? Why not teach your child to be as respectful as they can be to others. They’ll be a bright spot in a room full of rudeness.

One that may seem obvious, but is still important, is instilling manners at the dinner table. Elbows off the table, don’t slurp soup, and don’t play with food are basic rules for kids to follow. Having a slob for a child is the fastest way to show people that you’re a lackadaisical parent, one that doesn’t bother to instill any social graces. It’s a simple thing, just do it. When the kids whine, point out to them the simple fact of “do you want someone thinking you’re a pig?” It does get through.

Work on these issues one at a time. Sitting young kids down with a book of Emily Post’s Etiquette isn’t necessary. Her book does make for an excellent guideline, but doesn’t need to be followed to the letter. Trying to teach too much at once may overload the child and cause them to forget what’s been taught.

Filed Under: Parenting Roles Tagged With: Child, Etiquette, Manners, Table manners

Stop Bad Behavior in Kids Fast Before it Gets Worse

Children don’t come with filters. Because of this little fact, kids will go right towards an undesirable behavior to express themselves. It’s up to the parents to stop it immediately. Writing off the behavior as a ploy for attention is a mistake. A child realizes they’re being ignored and will only get worse if the parent doesn’t step in.

There exists a rainbow of types of bad behavior and all have their own fixes. For instance, there’s the toddler that doesn’t want to wear their clothes. It’s all fine and dandy when this is done in the privacy of home, but don’t let the child think it’s OK to do it elsewhere. And, despite attempts to the contrary, the born exhibitionist tends to pull off their clothes when it’s least appropriate. Use a little bribery with special undergarments that can only be worn if they keep their clothes on. Find items with their favorite cartoon character on them and put them away until a promise to behave is given. Don’t hesitate to take the item away if the warning goes unheeded.

Screaming is another behavior that needs to be nipped in the bud. It’s plain obnoxious and unnecessary. The solution to the problem is to not raise your voice. Instead, speak softly but firmly. A child instinctively reacts to their parent’s voice and will stop the loudness to listen. This is almost as if were a reset switch was hit. In response, the child will quiet down and talk in a more normal voice. Reinforce the need to not yell by telling them to use their indoor voice. Ask them why they feel the need to scream and point out it’s not getting them anything or anywhere.

Kids are going to do things to embarrass their parents in public. And parents can minimize it by stopping the behavior in its tracks.