Child

Showing Your Daughter You Love Her

As a mother, your daughter is very important to you. Some mothers don’t realize how important they are to their daughters, as well. Your child may act as if they don’t want anything to do with you when they really want you to care. You can show your daughter you love her in several different ways.

If you have more than one daughter, be fair to both of them. Don’t always buy things for one daughter or spend time with one and not with the other. They will feel as if you’re favoring their sister. You don’t have to buy them both things every time you go shopping, but if one needs something one week, buy the other something they need the next week.

When she asks to spend time with you, try to make time for her. If you don’t have time for her now, promise that you’ll spend some time with her later, and follow through with it. Never promise something and not go through with it. Your child will learn that they can’t trust that you will keep your promises.

Talk to her often. If she doesn’t want to talk about her problems, that’s okay, but if you show you care and want to help, she will definitely recognize this. Don’t be discouraged if she doesn’t act like she knows you care. If you try often to talk to her, she will recognize that you care.

Make each of your daughters feel special. For example, do something special on each one of their birthdays and not just on one person’s. Try your hardest to not put off birthday presents and parties because of money for one child, while you may not do it for the other.

It can be hard with several daughters to realize which ones you pay more attention to and which ones feel as if you don’t pay attention to. You may forget whom you bought something for and continue to buy for that person because you thought it was your other daughter. Try to be as fair as you can with your children.

Filed Under: Support & Resources Tagged With: Child, Daughter

The ‘I Hate You’ Stage

Your child is finally at that age you’ve been dreading since the moment they were born— the “I hate you Mom” stage. This usually begins around the time they are 14 and continues on and off, or occasionally constantly, throughout their teenage life. This is a scary time in not only your life, but your child’s life as well. What can you do to help them?
You have to be the parent, but give them their freedom. They may think that they are now in charge of their own life, but you are still their parent and you need to do what you think is right. They will think that you are being unfair, but you have to protect your child. The point is, just because they say they hate you and rebel, doesn’t mean you should give up and let them do whatever they want. They may be mad at you now, but they will thank you later.
As much power as you still have over their activities, you need to let them have their freedom. If they want to go somewhere or do something and you trust the situation, they why not let them go have fun? Don’t isolate them from the rest of the world. Even when certain situations seem bad, you need to learn to trust your child, or they will just rebel against you. If they are asking for your permission to do something, talk to them about it until you can trust that they are telling the truth. You need to let them have fun and they will appreciate this from you.
Talk to your child often, but don’t embarrass them, especially not in public. The more you talk to your child, the more they will trust you, but don’t over do it. Let them sit in their room alone when they want, but talk to them so they know you care. As much as they say they don’t, they really want you to care. Try your best to not embarrass them or they will remember it forever.

Filed Under: News & Issues Tagged With: Child, Parent

Handling Jealousy Issues of Older Children with a Newborn

The firstborn child is the center of attention in the family unit. That is until another member arrives. Depending on the separation of age between them, it’s normal to expect differing degrees of jealousy. The older child is no longer the recipient of undivided attention upon the arrival of the new sibling. Keeping an eye on things will avoid much unpleasantness later.

As soon as it’s possible, start introducing the idea that there’s going to be an addition to the household. Work on easing fears before the next child arrives. Preparing the soon to be older child for the changes that are going to occur can help alleviate a lot of stress on them. Some children can’t wait for the arrival of a sibling, others will resent it greatly.

Children who feel threatened by the arrival of another child may start acting out. They may exhibit behaviors such as biting or kicking, which are absolutely inappropriate. It’s important to stop these actions quickly. Not addressing the issues may see the older child try to hurt their new sibling. In short, do not give in to tantrums or other poor behavior. Go straight for the harshest punishment possible, such as taking the child away from the activity at hand. Time outs don’t work since the child gets to return to whatever they were doing. It needs to be driven home that there will be no tolerating any actions that are out of line.

Work on reassuring the child that their status with the parent will not change with the arrival of the newborn. Stress the fact that they’re the one that the younger child will eventually look up to. The idea is to make the arrival of the next child as positive an experience as can be, and impressing that on the first born can make a difference.

Filed Under: News & Issues Tagged With: Child, Parent, Sibling

Dealing With Developmental Setbacks

: Image via Wikipedia

Autism seems to be the big worry amongst parents these days, although it’s not the only mental development issue out there. Getting a confirmed diagnosis of an issue is enough to make the parent’s heart sink into their shoes. As bad as it may seem at the time, the reality is much different. So many childhood development issues are very well known these days. They come complete with methods and regimens on how to deal with these issues.

The first thing to do when getting a diagnosis is to not panic. It is not the absolute end of the world if a child is diagnosed with an issue. Many children have gotten through their setbacks and entered the world to be productive adults. It can be said that sometimes their minds don’t keep up with their bodies, then all of a sudden it will click together. Take a deep breath first then ask the doctor about the severity of the problem. The less severe the issue, the easier it is to handle. Easier is most certainly subjective in this situation.

Life does go on after the problem has been discovered. Things will evolve to a point where it seems normal that the child is the way they are. And the household will benefit strongly from everyone treating the child as if they were as normal as everyone else. Tip-toeing around the problem doesn’t do anyone any good and only reinforces the idea that there’s something wrong, which can be especially damaging to the child in question.

Understanding is key to coping with the situation. Research the Internet, ask questions no matter how dumb they may seem, seek out forums with parents who are raising children with the same issues. Listen to what the experts have to say and follow their advice as they have the widest knowledge on the subject.

Filed Under: News & Issues Tagged With: Child, Diagnosis, Parent

Firm and Consistent Communication Makes for a Happy Household

Just like there are different parenting styles, there are different speaking styles. Parents who are always yelling at their kids, parents that barely make a squeak, and parents who get the point across without raising their voice.

Yelling accomplishes nothing but discord. Kids don’t care to be yelled at all the time and will start resorting to disruptive behaviors. At the very least, a child will yell back, act up, or simply tune out the parent. It does nothing for the child’s need to relate to their parent. Constant negativity in the form of shouting or put downs tend to shape a child into either a withdrawn personality or one that’s always getting into trouble.

Passivity from the parents creates spoiled brats. These types of parents rarely raise their voice, make weak protests, rarely come out and say no, and wind up with kids that no one wants to be around. The children wind up with no sense of boundaries or social graces. Sometimes the parents will snap and say something sharp, but the groundwork has been laid and the child will most likely pay little heed to the command.

A firm and consistent parent shapes a child into a responsible personality. Children have a strong sense of fairness and look to the adult to provide that. So when a directive is given by a parent and the child doesn’t feel that they should do it, they may ask why. Patience on the parent’s part is key here. Sometimes a “because I said so” suffices, sometimes it may take a little explanation as to why something is necessary. For instance, a child may not understand why they have to cooperate with someone they don’t get along with. Taking the time to explain that we all have to do things we don’t like in life starts the child on to further comprehension and cooperation.

Filed Under: Support & Resources Tagged With: Child, Parent, Parenting styles, Patience

Reading Provides Strong Learning Foundations

Children learn by emulating others around them and reading is no exception. As soon as they’re physically able to, young children start picking up books and pretending to read. They may not be able to comprehend what they’re looking at, but they’re sure trying to.

Reading provides one of the most basic but strongest foundations of a child’s development. It puts together everything that they’ve learned up until that point into one location. For example, consider books for the very youngest. They’re comprised of pictures with word associations. This may seem simple but their importance cannot be overstated. These books are teaching comprehension of everyday objects. Basic building blocks of a life.

Consider the fact that the first quarter of a child’s life will be consumed with learning. And consider the fact that a majority of this learning will be done via reading. Encouraging the idea that reading is both learning and pleasure sets a child up for life. They become more articulate, able to work out concepts in their head, and become stronger visualizers. It’s not necessarily a guarantee that they’ll get ahead in life but it is a guarantee that they have a stronger chance at success.

There is really only one caveat to reading, and that’s to make sure that it’s age appropriate. Sometimes a book has advanced concepts that will only come with gains in maturity. Translated this means that a child may be able to read the book, understand the “big” words, and maybe grasp the plot. But what they won’t have is an understanding of the concepts that went in, the relationships between the characters, or the underlying intent of an author. Much can be missed because of this simple issue. So if a child says “can I read this?” of a difficult book, try to persuade them into another book and bring them back to the original when they’re a bit older.

Filed Under: Support & Resources Tagged With: Book, Child, Learning, Reading

What to Consider When Weighing Working at Home

Being able to work from home is a plus for many parents. They don’t have to commute anywhere, don’t have to spend money on gas, and are able to stay at home with the kids. It’s a win-win situation all around. But is it?

Certainly everyone benefits. There’s no need to send a younger child to day care, meaning the parent can raise their kid on their own. But when some thought is put into it, it’s only for the first few years of life that the child is going to be at home for any meaningful time. Once they go into school full time, the reasons for staying home are a little less urgent. To be sure, not having to go into work is a luxury, but sometimes it’s good for everyone to get some space from each other.

It’s normal for a parent to want to be home as the children come home from school. There is, however, a time when the kids start wanting their own privacy and won’t be as interactive as they once were. It’s an unfortunate fact of growing up. That’s not to say that the parent can’t sit down and have face to face time with their kids. It’s just that when children age, they start developing a sense of self and want their own space. So sometimes not being at home when they get back from school can do everyone a little bit of good.

Ultimately this is a subject that’s has to be determined by the individual situation. Weigh the pros and cons on how the family will be affected. Is your home going to turn into a hang out spot because you’re the only adult around? Are you doing this for yourself, or for the greater good of the family? Only you can decide if working at home is right for your family.

Filed Under: Parenting Roles Tagged With: Child, Day care, Parent, Telecommuting

How Important is Self Esteem in a Child’s Development?

Creating self-esteem seems to be something that is always being stressed in child development circles. But how necessary is it? Some psychologists don’t think it needs developing. Does a child really need their self-esteem boosted? Sometimes, sometimes not.

The time of pre-pubescence is the most innocent time of a child’s life. They’re learning their sense of self without the influence of hormones. Interactions with others give them feedback on who they are. But they most certainly don’t need to have their self-esteem given a boost.

Younger children do not have a very developed sense of self in the early stages. It’s all me, myself, and I, or the ID as Freud described it. They have few worries in the world apart from the next punishment or reward. Certainly they’re capable of anticipation and the anxiety that comes with it, or we wouldn’t see children express what are known as negative emotions. But they have very little concept of boosting ones self esteem as it’s really not there yet.

Self-esteem will start making itself known as the child ages and starts getting to the pre-pubescent years. External influences start making their impressions and work on the mind. A child can have all the encouragement they needed before this age, but if they have a strong negative experience, all the work goes out the window. Parents who are fighting constantly or going through a divorce will affect their kids self image. It’s not uncommon for children to blame their parents troubles on themselves. They think they are the source of the discord and will act accordingly.

Simply put, let a child be a child. Monitor their progress, keep an eye to the outside influences, and make adjustments where need be. Absolutely encourage them to be the best they can be, but never at the cost of their sense of self image.

Filed Under: News & Issues Tagged With: Amy Chua, Child, Puberty, Self-esteem

Minimize Distractions when it’s Time for Studying

It’s easy for a kid to get sidetracked while working on their homework. Not every child has the capability to focus on what’s in front of them and are easily thrown off the task. A parent can do things to make it easier to study while limiting the range of distracting items.

Start with designating a space for working in. Place it away from televisions and computers, unless a computer is necessary for research. Use restrictive software to make the PC useful only for finding information. Arrange as much lighting for the space as possible. A brightly lit area is much more accommodating than one that’s got a cave like feel. Don’t rule out putting a radio or allowing streaming radio to be played. Music helps set a rhythm to set the mind to. In short, do what you can to make the study place a spot that the child wants to be in.

Recognize that certain age groups are not going to be able to focus for very long. The younger the child, the less patience is available to them. Keeping this in mind, don’t force them to stay past their tolerance level. Make them go outside or do something else for a while, and make sure they come back to the work if it isn’t finished. This is a good opportunity to teach self-discipline by making sure they finish their homework.

Step in and help when the going gets tough. When a child hits a roadblock of non-comprehension, the work stops. They’re more likely at this point to want to stop what they’re doing and go find something else that’s more fun. Watch for the signs of frustration and do an intervention when they show up. You don’t have to necessarily do the work for them, but you can help with walking them through the problem.

Filed Under: News & Issues Tagged With: Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, Child, Internet radio

The Television is not a Babysitter

Parents often use a television program to babysit their young children. There’s nothing easier than plopping the tot into a playpen with their toys and putting on the latest kid’s program. But is it really such a good idea?

Not really. Research is showing that the more time a child spends in front of a television in their first 28 months will translate to learning issues a couple of years later. They will tend to not test as well as their classmates. Eventually they will catch up, but they start out behind the eight ball.

While this is should be a major concern for parents, there are other issues that should be considered as well. The child gets used to being sedentary and having their mind exercised by the television. In turn, they don’t move around as much as they should, starting them on the road to potential obesity.

Nor is the necessary stimulus provided by playing with toys and interacting with others. Social skills begin when speech starts developing. Just staring at something that talks to them does not encourage the children to develop their vocabulary or understand how to play well with others. There is also less discussion with the parents which may undermine respect as the child ages.

This is not to say don’t sit a child down in front of the TV. There are times that the parent needs to get something important done and the child is being insistent on getting attention. Instead, make sure that the time spent watching a program is for short periods of time. Once the job is finished, take a few minutes for oneself, but don’t let the child spend much more than a couple of hours by themselves. As with everything else in life, moderation is the key to success.

Filed Under: Parenting Roles Tagged With: Babysitting, Child, Parent, Television